Created specifically for an art show called, “Reflections” this was my first attempt at self-portraiture.
Although this portrait is not true to life, it does reflect the essence of what was in my heart, mind, body and soul at the time of its creation.
The process for this piece was entirely different for me – primarily because I was stepping so far out of my comfort zone and found that I was scared enough to ask for guidance. This is really funny to me, because it really did feel like being a little kid who wants to do well, who wants to do it by themselves, but there was a moment when my combined fear and desire to do well, overcame my desire to do it by myself.
While I am almost always in contact or communication with Spirit on some level, and always ask my guides for …well, guidance as I go into each creative project, this was the first time it ever occurred to me to reach out and ask an actual painter (d’OH!) for guidance, or simply to be with and watch over my process. When dancing was my only practice, I frequently called on Babiji as a master Yogi, and just all around gentle, non-judgmental Spirit. The idea of asking a painter, someone who had the kind of wisdom and presence as Babiji – but in a completely different medium – hadn’t occurred to me. Yeah – my level of “when to ask” and “what for” makes me laugh out loud pretty regularly – once I realize my oversights.
As it turned out – because she had been present with me for days already – I called on the spirit of Frida Khalo for assistance. Little did I realize that it was the anniversary of her birthday as I painted, on July 6th.
I’ve got to say, Frida is a woman, an artist who knows exactly where to go next. Her energy was so certain, so sure, there was nothing I could do but choose the colors as they came to me, and paint what I saw, as I saw it. Even though the light was shifting constantly, and I must have questioned my own choices more than a hundred times, there Frida was, insistent and unhesitating. So, like following an older sister into wild, unknown territory, I did what she said.
I’ve never had an experience like this. Though it is a self-portrait, I feel that there is so much more to this than what I am. Or perhaps, perhaps it’s just that there is so much more to me than I realized.
“Just who do you think you are?”